Read my full review here:TheGamersHub.net
Saturday, 22 December 2012
Ratchet & Clank Q-Force: Review - The Gamers Hub
Alien Breed: Review - The Gamers Hub
Read my full review here: TheGamersHub.net
Farming Giant: Review - The Gamers Hub
Farming Giant has it all. Assorted buildings, sprawling landscapes, animals, resources, economics and dozens of different vehicles and attachments – all programmed to carry-off their specific function. There’s a buffet of fruit, veg and seeds to plant and cultivate, as well as relationships to build with prospective clients and multiple ways to develop your burgeoning farming empire. In the end though – in the most absolute sense of the word, it’s all completely meaningless.
Read my full review here: TheGamersHub.net
Thursday, 22 November 2012
A Game of Dwarves: Review - The Gamers Hub
Not unlike its bumbling gaggle of impossibly rotund sprites, it’s hard to pin A Game of Dwarves down. Watching your autonomous hive bulge and swell is often a joy, but tackling its literal and figurative layers can oftentimes be both a pleasure and a chore.
Read my full review here: TheGamersHub.net
Red Johnson's Chronicles: One Against All - Review - The Gamers Hub
Have you ever seen Ghostbusters 2? You have? Great! You haven’t? Well, basically, they’re just done beating up Marshmallow Man and then there’s all this pink ooze just bubbling under the surface of New York City – and it’s really bad – and everyone is getting all pissed off all the time and it makes them want to kill each other. Hold that thought.
Read my full review here: TheGamersHub.net
Hungry Giraffe (PSM): Review - The Gamers Hub
Did you know that giraffe sick is multi-coloured? Neither did I. In the gluttonous world of Laughing Jackal’s Hungry Giraffe there are plenty of quirky foibles – luminous chunder included. There’s anvils, dumbbells, vomit-inducing elixirs, hardhats, psychedelic experimental drugs, and food – lots and lots of food.
Read my full review here:TheGamersHub.net
Tritton Kunai Headset: Review - The Gamers Hub
In ancient Japan, the kunai was originally conceived as a common farming tool. Over time, it became synonymous with the Ninja, who developed it to be used as a multi-functional martial arts weapon for both inflicting injury and scaling walls – presumably as a prerequisite for inflicting further injury. A highly stylised symbol of Japanese culture – reflected in everything from museums to Manga – the kunai is evocative of ingenuity, functionality and adaptability. That’s a reasonably tall order for the new TRITTON Kunai headset to stand up to, then.
Read my full review here: TheGamersHub.net
Wednesday, 10 October 2012
Interview: Introversion Software on alpha uncertainty
Whether it’s necessarily true or not, a lot of interviews are prefixed with the term ‘we sat down with’. Last weekend, at Eurogamer Expo, London, TheGamersHub actually sat down with Mark Morris and Chris Delay of Introversion Software. One of my few criticisms of this years’ Eurogamer Expo was that there probably weren’t enough seats – so we sat down on the show-floor, to talk about the biggest gamble of their careers.
Read my full article here: TheGamersHub.net
Q&A - Prison Architect: The next big thing - The Gamers Hub
Prison Architect has been in development for two years. Introversion Software, the team behind Darwinia and Multiwinia, launched the Alpha build that recently garnered over a hundred-thousand dollars in the first seventy-two hours. Not bad for a game that only has its first chapter completed, so far. Having spent some time with it at last weekend’s Eurogamer Expo at Earl’s Court, London, it’s not hard to see why people have been so willing to invest. TheGamersHub took the opportunity to engage in some mutual ear-bending with Mark Morris and Chris Delay, of Introversion Software, to find out just what Prison Architect is all about.
Read my full interview here: TheGamersHub.net
Kojima Productions' L.A. studio working on new MGO project - The Gamers Hub
Speaking on the opening day of last weekend’s Eurogamer Expo, at Earl’s Court, London, Hideo Kojima confirmed that his newly-formed L.A. studio is currently working on development of a new Metal Gear Online franchise.
Saturday, 6 October 2012
Metal Gear Movie: Kojima prefers unknown for lead role -The Gamers Hub
Addressing fans questions at last weekend’s Eurogamer Expo, at Earl’s Court, London, Metal Gear Solidcreator, Hideo Kojima, took time to bring some clarity to the future of the recently-announced Metal Gear movie.
Read my full article here: TheGamersHub.net
Friday, 5 October 2012
Capcom: Continuity with previous DMC titles 'Very important' - The Gamers Hub
Addressing another developer full-house, on Sunday at Eurogamer Expo in Earls Court, London, Capcom US Producer Alex Jones and Ninja Theory Communications Manager Dominic Matthews took time to talk fans through what they can look forward to from the next instalment in the Devil May Cry franchise.
Read my full article here:TheGamersHub.net
Thursday, 4 October 2012
Curiosity: What's Inside the Cube - detailed - The Gamers Hub
Speaking on Sunday at Eurogamer Expo, London; former Microsoft stalwart and games development godfather Peter Molyneux, hosted fans and press alike for a talk about his new company, 22 Cans, and their first project – Curiosity: What’s Inside the Cube. It’s a game, sort of, but it’s also an experiment – one of twenty-two due before the launch of 22 cans first official game. Detailed below are all the key points about his intriguing new project.
(Not the video, *below* the video - that's a teeny-tiny video with a question mark and a massive cube.)
(Not the video, *below* the video - that's a teeny-tiny video with a question mark and a massive cube.)
Read my full article here:What's inside the cube - detailed
Molyneux: 'There're a billion potential gamers out there, and at the moment - they're playing shit' - The Gamers Hub
Peter Molyneux is on a quest to make a truly great game. The games industry design-veteran of well over twenty years said as much while speaking to an assembled crowd at this past weekend’s Eurogamer expo, at Earl’s court in London.
His face is fookin' massive! |
Read my full article here:A billion potential gamers
Rock Band Blitz: Review - PS3 (PSN) - The Gamers Hub
'Blitz hits the fan'
Since the now infamous plastic instrument tsunami of 2008, there have been a few years of peace and quiet on the toys-for-big-boys front. Like many of the great bands (and shit ones) a temporary hiatus doesn’t necessarily mean that a successful comeback can’t be made. Usually when it happens, the individuals in question don’t look quite the same as you remember them. More often than not, at least one of the group has got a bit fat, and the ratio of fake tan, hair plugs and highlights per capita has increased. And so, if 2012 is the year that strum-em-ups make their comeback – and not quite as we might remember them – then it couldn’t be more fitting that the proposed reinvention of the genre comes courtesy of Harmonix – the original conceivers of the landscape-changing Guitar Hero – and their new-born baby Rock Band Blitz.

Read my full review here:TheGamersHub.net
Since the now infamous plastic instrument tsunami of 2008, there have been a few years of peace and quiet on the toys-for-big-boys front. Like many of the great bands (and shit ones) a temporary hiatus doesn’t necessarily mean that a successful comeback can’t be made. Usually when it happens, the individuals in question don’t look quite the same as you remember them. More often than not, at least one of the group has got a bit fat, and the ratio of fake tan, hair plugs and highlights per capita has increased. And so, if 2012 is the year that strum-em-ups make their comeback – and not quite as we might remember them – then it couldn’t be more fitting that the proposed reinvention of the genre comes courtesy of Harmonix – the original conceivers of the landscape-changing Guitar Hero – and their new-born baby Rock Band Blitz.
Read my full review here:TheGamersHub.net
Kung Fu Strike: Review - Xbox 360 - The Gamers Hub
'Site for sore RISE'
The problem with being an ancient Chinese folk-hero is that you always end up being tasked with some honourable quest in the name of your people – one that you, and only you, can endure. Such is the burden of General Loh – a man battling to bring an end to civil unrest in his native China. Playing as the aforementioned General, you go about this specifically by fending off wave after wave of angry Chinamen, using only your fists and feet to keep the peace. There’re more than enough baddies to keep your palms sweaty, but in the words of martial arts legend Bruce Lee, ‘Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one’.

Read my full review here:TheGamersHub.net
The problem with being an ancient Chinese folk-hero is that you always end up being tasked with some honourable quest in the name of your people – one that you, and only you, can endure. Such is the burden of General Loh – a man battling to bring an end to civil unrest in his native China. Playing as the aforementioned General, you go about this specifically by fending off wave after wave of angry Chinamen, using only your fists and feet to keep the peace. There’re more than enough baddies to keep your palms sweaty, but in the words of martial arts legend Bruce Lee, ‘Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one’.
Read my full review here:TheGamersHub.net
Hybrid: Review - Xbox 360
No one paints an optimistic picture of the near future, do they? Script writers across any given medium would have you believe that a few years from now we’ll all have been boiled down into future-goo, fueling the hosepipe-veins of our new sentient overlords. Hybrid paints a similarly bleak portrait of events to come. You choose one of two warring factions: The Paladins, a gaggle of renegade Master Chief wannabes; or The Variants, a cybernetic race who look like what might happen if those cute dancing robots, that Japanese companies keep making, decide to overrun humanity.
Read my full review here: TheGamersHub.net
Wreckateer: Review - Xbox 360 (XBLA) - The Gamers Hub
'Tower Power'
Wreck and Tinker love smashing stuff. The central protagonists of Iron Galaxy’s Wreckateer combine a hearty lust for architectural dereliction with an unhealthy disdain for the green-skinned, pot-bellied goblin tenants of the sixty-plus stages contained within. If there’s one thing that they’re most enthusiastic about, it’s the prospect of firing big rocks – of varying shapes and sizes, at even bigger castles. In their field, they are captains of industry.
Wreck and Tinker love smashing stuff. The central protagonists of Iron Galaxy’s Wreckateer combine a hearty lust for architectural dereliction with an unhealthy disdain for the green-skinned, pot-bellied goblin tenants of the sixty-plus stages contained within. If there’s one thing that they’re most enthusiastic about, it’s the prospect of firing big rocks – of varying shapes and sizes, at even bigger castles. In their field, they are captains of industry.
Thursday, 3 May 2012
FEZ: Review - Xbox 360 (XBLA)
'HAT-eral
thinking'
One might argue that, with that, has come a kind of slow-cooked saturation of the gaming landscape, amid a plethora of pixelated protagonists. Every game and its Grandma seems to have its own fuzzy little sprite and quirky old-school mechanic. Where once there was Mario, there are now many.
At its
most devilish, FEZ is bastard-hard. Not for its platforming elements,
so much as its puzzles. Collecting most of the rogue yellow pieces is
straightforward enough, and is usually a matter of exploration and
typical platforming action. Accompanying these cubes are 'anti-cubes'
- invisible until specific actions have been achieved, and very
hidden. In many games you'll be met with a tangible route to the
answer on screen, even hints after a period of stasis. FEZ makes no
such commitment. Often enough, a puzzle won't be apparent so much as
an empty room, with absolutely no ostensible objective, no evident
hint or clue, and no apology. With no alternative but to show the
room in question a reluctant pair of heels, you'll head elsewhere.
And FEZ has a lot of elsewhere.
While
you might find yourself fed-up with the head-scratching nature of
some conundrums, and FEZ does walk a tightrope between challenging
and impossible, overall, the game offers a variety of levels of
challenge, without ever having to pause and change a difficulty
setting. FEZ's puzzles are hard, sure, but aren't all necessary to
complete in order to reach a second run through. Similarly, there'll
be plenty of times that you'll plummet to your doom, but FEZ's
frequent auto saving and never-death mean that should you turn
yourself into a pixel-pizza, you'll instantly respawn at the platform
from which you fell. The cheev-lovers among us will certainly want to
put the time in to getting that last item, but Polytron has put in an
admirable shift in ensuring that while, at its height, FEZ is as
taxing an experience as you might dare to wish for, it is still
accessible to those with a more casual bent.
The
scale and greater meaning of the fibres that complete FEZ's digital
universe are such, that it is unlikely that any one man or woman will
ever uncover all of FEZ's mysteries, unaided. While the formula isn't
perfect, FEZ does something astounding. Far from relying on it's
magnificent blend of old-fashioned audio and visuals to carry itself,
FEZ casts an inexpungible water-mark on the Xbox Live Arcade. FEZ
takes your hand and leads you back to what it used to be like, pencil
and paper in tow. To experience the enormity and true significance of
this wondrous achievement, you'll have to pick up the phone (or use
the internet) and talk to your friends. A game that might challenge
the way you look at gaming itself, FEZ is a single player game
alright, but one you simply won't be able to truly play alone.
Do you
remember the days before the internet? No? Well, congratulations you
young buck, you'll outlive me by decades. Yes? Then you'll remember
retro gaming as it was - a halcyon time of excited pausing and
feverish scribbling of codes, cheats and solutions into the back of
your gaming manual, and excited phone-calls to friends to discuss
your latest discovery. Father Time is a rather changeable fellow,
though. The days of paper and pencils stored near the console, and
even the presence of full gaming manuals in boxes, are fading. In
spite of the natural evolution of the medium, though, there remains a
place in our hearts for almost anything that promises to take us back
to those better times, back when gaming was magical.

One might argue that, with that, has come a kind of slow-cooked saturation of the gaming landscape, amid a plethora of pixelated protagonists. Every game and its Grandma seems to have its own fuzzy little sprite and quirky old-school mechanic. Where once there was Mario, there are now many.
It
wouldn't be a great surprise, then, if Polytron's long-in-the-making
labour-of-love - FEZ, were flush with made-to-measure nostalgia-trip
convention. While plenty of FEZ's charm is tightly knotted up with
the archetypes, far from submitting to the tropes of the genre, FEZ
establishes itself as an atypical organism, pulsing with life, under
a familiar skin. Met with the cutesy, pudgy, bleached shell of FEZ's
lead – Gomez – a sperm-sized Stay Puft Marshmallow man, you could
be forgiven for thinking you're in for another soft-core retro
love-in - bright colours, blue skies, and tiered, grassy verges
await. Right away though, FEZ reveals itself to be more.
FEZ is
a 2D-cum-3D platformer. After sacred, cubed artefact – The
Hexahedron is shattered into lots of little bits, Gomez's world is
turned from a 2D hamlet, into a 3D land of discovery, throughout
which, you must endeavour to retrieve each of the hexahedron's 32
splintered fragments.
At
FEZ's core, lies a very simple, yet brilliant gameplay mechanic,
around which the world literally revolves. Pull the left trigger to
turn it clockwise, and the right trigger to rotate counter-clockwise.
Each spin will expose a whole new surface area of each of FEZ's
monolithic stages, granting access to previously hidden platforms,
and unobtainable areas – even your physical position within a given
level might change at the flick of a trigger, without ever forcing
Gomez to callus his soles.
FEZ's
second big reveal comes in the form of its puzzle-heavy dynamic. Far
more than in any other platform game in recent memory, you are
required to think your way from A to B. From almost the first moment
that you are set free among the available dimensions, you are
challenged to think laterally about, what in most of FEZ's peers,
would be rudimentary hops from one platform to the next. FEZ boasts a
bevy of secret wonders, often uncovered by looking at your world
differently than other games might have you used to. Starting out as
it does – with a decidedly creative approach to even the games'
most basic elements, acts as both a measuring-stick, and a big fat
warning-sign, for what is still to come.

Unusually,
FEZ is as non-linear a platformer as one could wish for. Pausing the
game will fire you out into a wide-angle view of FEZ's universe. At
first only your immediate surroundings will be visible, along with
the nearest unexplored level – highlighted in grey. As time
progresses and stages are ticked off, the amazing extent of zones –
spread across different lengths, breadths and depths becomes clearer,
and clearer, and clearer. Each level you encounter feels like it has
one hundred secrets, each side of the stage will have a number of
doors, some will lead to a room with a little yellow cube fragment
and nothing else, some will lead to a whole new plot, with another
hundred mysteries to solve, you just don't know until you go. FEZ is
a Russian doll, exposing more intricacy with every button press, and
never quite revealing its end.
It's a
shame that the physical map itself, is slightly tricky to use –
often it will be needed to plot your course. Zooming right out
will show everything, but sometimes the 3D nature of the map will
make it hard to establish which stage is linked to which. The map can
be rotated and twisted, but these functions never seem to give you
the freedom to properly fly through the terrain. These gripes could
be forgiven but for the fact that orienting yourself in the world
often, is necessary given its three-dimensional build. That aside,
FEZ does a great job of making the experience of testing the
possibilities across the land a compulsive and rewarding one.
Back-tracking
can become cumbersome until all available warp-gates have been found
– these act as fast travel portals from hub to hub. That said, the
environments you'll encounter along the way make each step one worthy
of wide-eyed contemplation and drawn breath. Sun rises and sets with
a serene, real-time ebb in FEZ's coastal vistas, underground sewer
levels – viewed through a murky-green haze juxtapose with
candy-pink trees and purple village buildings. The variety is
staggering – one moment you'll be at the foot of a twittering
woodland backdrop, the next, climbing on jet-black blocks - only
exposed by flashes of lightning and rain, falling from
freshly-soldered skylines and microchip clouds. Other levels offer
everything in their aesthetic, from the bizarre to the surreal.
All
the ocular-candy is only further embellished by some simply dazzling
sound-design. At times ethereal, other times subterranean – drips
and drops in the sewers resonate and echo, and always carrying a
digital vibe. FEZ's audio is an 8-bit whale-song, always there but
never intrusive, every twist of the terrain, or thud as you land from
a jump, the squeak as you brake and change direction, every lap of
the tide, each tiny part - and the aural elements as a whole, are
masterful.
While
at times, the platforming can feel a little awkward, and Gomez
doesn't posses the array of onesies of, say, a Mario, or the
dexterity of Banjo and Kazooie, FEZ supplements it's offering with
nice variety in its basic gameplay. A wealth of levers, switches,
gyrating or moving platforms, hidden doors and treasure chests will
all help keep your attention for long enough. The environments aside,
there are some thrilling moments of frantic action - a bum-clenching
getaway from rising lava is particularly memorable, timing each jump
to the second. Moments like these in games make for great
platforming, because in their construct, they create such tension
that even a simple press of one button can become a challenge, and
deliver an intense satisfaction when completed. Sadly, these moments
of levity are rarer than they might be, considering just how much FEZ
does offer. Most of FEZ's jumpy-bits are rather more
steady-as-she-goes, as you endeavour to get to point x and grab that
collectible. Aside from the cubes, there are maps and artefacts to
accrue, all of which are relevant to the bigger picture.
The
variety of ways FEZ will encourage you to complete puzzles is
astounding - all the information is there for you, if only you can
see it. Some of it is hidden in plain sight, some is more subdued,
but when those eureka moments happen, FEZ feels as rewarding as it
gets. Further to its credit is the New Game + feature, one that far
from a tertiary inclusion, is essential to your hopes of fully
beating the game.

The
lack of hand-holding certainly runs deep, though, and it's worth
pausing on whether the level of obscurity and nebulous nature of just
what the hell you are meant to be doing, will alienate some, rather
than embrace. There is a bigger picture to the world of FEZ, and the
game becomes a different beast when, whether through guile or simple
luck, you stumble across it. While not resorting to diegesis is a
positive step, the danger Polytron face, is that there are a whole
heap of more instantly gratifying products available on the
marketplace, just a couple of flicks of your analogue away. There are
few real gripes to be had, FEZ's unique challenge is one that could
be viewed a number of ways, occasional frame rate slow-down is a
detractor, too, but is a rarity, unlikely to damage your experience
much.

Mecha
Score 9.0
Friday, 16 March 2012
Beat Sneak Bandit: Review - iOS
'Sneak?..
Sneeaaaak!!'
Beat
Sneak Bandit is a game of throwaway simplicity. At first glance, it
might appear as if little effort was ever required to sew together
the cogs and dials that are its make-up. The more time spent with
BSB, however, the clearer it becomes that, in truth, it is an
intricate network of precisely crafted interior components. Beat
Sneak's controls rely on simply tapping any part of the touchscreen
in time with the music, each press will move Bandit one step forward,
and hitting the screen's walled edges will cause him to flip around,
facing the other way. Each level offers a perpetually more awkward
array of potential pitfalls. Security guards, searchlights, and
hovering vacuums attempt to derail your progress, while manipulating
time-stopping levers, pressure-pads and teleporters properly, will
help smooth your passage to each, multi-tiered level's end. Every
note is relevant, should you fail a level, stuttering piano keys will
clunk to a halt. The timing of a portal, or the moment a security
guard will turn around, are all tied to the relevant musical note in
the track. The game forces you to learn the tune and time your move
based on audio cues, rather than what can be seen on screen.
There
are one hundred ways to muck it up amid the mire of rhythmic
booby-traps BSB has on offer, one push too many might leave you one
step either direction from where you intended, and renavigating or
even restarting the set piece might prove the quickest option. In
spite of this, Beat Sneak Bandit possesses the caution-to-the-wind
enjoyment of games such as Super Meat Boy or Joe Danger. Restarts
might mean a longer haul back to your objective than these games, but
delivering a press-perfect passage through a given level, is more
often than not, just too juicy an offer to turn down. Beat Sneak
Bandit's real joy is one of discovery, moments after being confronted
by a fit-inducing canvas of flashing security lights and
teleportation devices, at a glance, seemingly impassable, you'll
afford yourself a self-satisfied grin as the rhythmic brick-road to
clocks four and five unravels.
In the
densely populated landscape of iOS gaming, spending a penny more than
absolutely necessary, can be quite a commitment. Good job, then, that
fiscally well-endowed tap-em-up Beat Sneak Bandit is a game with the
shelf life, art style, and just-one-more-level gameplay that will
turn it from something to kill time with, on your daily commute, to a
full-time obsession.
The
town of Pulsebury (that's right) is under threat from the maniacal
Duke Clockface. In a turn of events that probably should have been
foreseen, the Duke has made off with all the clocks, leaving the
townsfolk without any way of knowing when the hell it is. In order to
prevent the Duke's crazy conceit – using the clocks to whip up some
kind of time-freeze device, you'll don the mask of titular hero Beat
Sneak Bandit and his unplayable companion Herbie.
Beat
Sneak Bandit is a bastion of accessibility and addictiveness. Each
level holds five clocks, scattered at various longitudes and
latitudes, each one collected just by stepping on top. Four of them
are entirely optional, you might choose to take the easy route,
ignoring some in pursuit of the larger, level-ending timepiece and
driving your progress forward. Each of the smaller clocks act as
collectibles, the reward for their successful assimilation, is the
unlocking of shadow stages at the end of each of BSB's four
level-heavy chapters. These deviate nicely from Beat Sneak Bandit's
bright, colourful, pitch-perfect pastel aesthetic, heavy with
head-banging background artefacts -picture frames and candlesticks
nodding along to the tune. These are replaced instead by stripping
away the bracken and smoothing it out with ice-cool silhouettes.
Equally
impressive is Beat Sneak Bandit's sheer quantity of content. Four
chapters, containing ten stages with four shadow stages each, that's
fifty six stages. But wait, there's extra stuff too, without
spoilerising (not a word) proceedings, there's more. Even if BSB is a
relatively costly iOS experience, value for money is something it
does very, very well. Its not as if its more of the same, either.
Aesthetic, challenge, and audio, evolve nicely as each level passes.
The go-to funk of the early mansion stages is replaced by upbeat, yet
comically spooky echoes in the clockwork mansion's basement. The
static humming, and clinking of test tubes in the laboratory levels,
escalates into the whimsical tick-tock clock chimes, of the clock
tower phase, and the unlockable shadow stages pulse with
finger-snapping bass.
There
are very few gripes to be had with this game at all. To nitpick, the
music throughout is not for everyone, and while it stops short of
being the same, most of it plays out to variations of the same
eight-bar beat. There's not much in the way of story, either. That
said, Beat Sneak Bandit doesn't need one. Clock-loving extrovert
steals clocks, sneaky bandit steals them back, big fight, end. At
times, Beat Sneak Bandit can be merciless, too. Usually though, it
stops short of frustration, in spite of plenty of grimaced, wry
smiles.
Beat
Sneak Bandit is as unforgiving as it is self aware. At regular
intervals, you'll be invited to pick up the phone and exchange
dialogue with Duke Clockface – an unapologetic narcissist and
typical wealthy super-villain. At other times, you'll chew the fat
with your bandit buddy, Herbie. Aside from explaining the method
behind the madness in the early stages, Herbie drops in by phone,
every now and then, to offer some largely useless words of advice,
more often than not, he serves as a witty commentator on events, as
they unfold. From the opening frame, where he references the
collectible smaller clocks as something 'like in a videogame' to the
preamble to the end game, pointing out how it would be awesome if
there was a 'big freaking boss battle' around the corner. The final
fight in question is typically unforgiving, but stays true to BSB's
pause-for-thought dynamic.
All of
this is really just seasoning for, what at the centre of it all, is a
cute, simple, engaging, joy of a title to behold. All you'll need is
one thumb and a few minutes, actually maybe a few hours. It's more
than likely that Beat Sneak Bandit will go from your go-to on-the-go
game, to play-at-home game. From foot tapping on the train, to
racking your brain, Simogo's Beat Sneak Bandit is a stylised,
addictive, stealth-em-up, unlike anything creeping around your iOS
device.
Mecha
Score 9.0
Saturday, 25 February 2012
The Darkness II Review
'You're
really growing on me'
It's
entirely fitting that your born-again baptism back into the
Italian-American ambience of The Darkness Universe is played-out on
rails. Schmoozing your way through the grossly opulent gangland
backdrop of (presumably) Jackie's favourite eatery, your cohorts lead
you to your table, shaking hands with old friends along the way,
while interchanging a slice of staid mob movie dialogue. Events turn
cold quickly, as you dodge bullets and suck turf, dragged away from
the fray, amid a firework display of stage-managed gunfire. A few
grim visions later, not to mention a near death experience or two,
the darkness will have you right back in the palm of its slobbery,
serrated jaw.
Gathering
essence, a purple, gaseous discharge, released from each oven-ready
corpse will add points to what is an obtuse XP meter of sorts.
There's no real frame of reference for what it is meant to
encapsulate, what it does however, is act as currency to be spent at
soul wells, a kind of purple
black-hole, acting as an other-worldly ATM, at which you can upgrade
one of four available talent trees. Rather than defining your
character's DNA in the way that other games do, instead these prune
your talent trees to fine-tune your preferences. One might focus on
your weapons, while another will effect your limbs directly, the next
might increase the effectiveness of black holes and darklings (my
personal favourite). However you choose to specialise, if you spend
enough of your time performing executions, the goriest of ends to the
various stooges standing in your way, you'll build up enough
demon-dollars (not the actual in-game currency) to fully leaf out all
of the available branches. Each level also provides a small number of
collectible relics to give a shot in the arm to your available
essence, should you find yourself lagging. In truth, there is no
tangible relevance to their presence, and taking the time out to hunt
down any but the ones you stumble across is best reserved for the
cheev-gobblers among us.
Digital
Extremes shouldn't feel too bad about their attempts to keep things
interesting, they have made a good fist of blurring the line between
fantasy and reality, as Jackie awakes repeatedly in the bright-white
halls of what appears to be a mental institution, at points
throughout, only to find himself back in an unwelcoming back alley
within minutes. As the story concludes however, the density of any of
the occurring distractions proves to be wafer-thin and unimportant.
Jackie's longing to be reunited with his departed soul mate Jenny
should strike a chord, as fond memories of their time together are
brought to the fore, but these moments rely too heavily on the
poignant romance of the first game. If you sat through much of To
Kill A Mockingbird, or watched the emphatic nature of Jenny's end
while playing through The Darkness, the sense of what could have been
in The Darkness II will be palpable. If not, there is nothing to
engage you emotionally with any of the frequent faux-dream sequences,
lamenting her passing. The bigger picture suffers in the same way,
when finally confronted by the limping man, he is inexplicably
familiar with your entire life story, and in spite of the logical
reasons he has for wanting your attention, the venom of his
anti-Jackie rhetoric misses a step, somehow.
In
truth, The Darkness II isn't challenging as much as it is chastening,
brainless AI and flawed boss-fights, confused terrain and
chaotic scrambling for ammo leave limited chances to play out a
battle using observation, timing or method. Either that, or they turn
out to be a game of, who can shoot who the most, fastest. While when
the quad-wield sensibilities fall into place, the feeling of complete
combat exists, often this will descend into wild slashing and
indiscriminate object hurling.
It's
great to see extra content included, and it does provide a variety of
sorts, the most enjoyable part found playing as Jimmy Wilson. His
recallable dark-axe and wilful alcoholism are great fun, as are the
developers attempts at sounding like they know what Scottish people
talk about. The additional executions available, beg the question why
there aren't more for Jackie to embrace, these limited highs aside.
Largely, powers feel limp when compared to Jackie Estacado, mostly
because limbs three and four are missing from the tertiary toons.
Since
the 2007 release of The Darkness, the first-person-shooter climate
has changed. In the world of Mafia-haggled mainstay Jackie Estacado,
two years of darkling denial have passed. In the real world however,
five long years have gone by, a console generation has evolved, and a
sequel, five years in the making, needs rather more weapons in its
daemonic dresser drawer than Digital Extremes' The Darkness II has
been able to muster.

While
the sinister, mob-ruled world of the Darkness: part one remains, its
muted, ashen palette has been replaced with a rather more glittery,
swashbuckling facade. Jackie has undergone something of a makeover,
his poker-straight goth-locks replaced with a more ruffled,
late-nineties, Bon Jovi barnet, in black. With two years passing
since the untimely demise of Jackie's long time squeeze Jenny, Jackie
has taken on a more optimistic and brash outlook on his world,
reflected in the The Darkness II's relatively bubbly cel-shaded art
style.
Far
from fighting the mob, Jackie is now at the head of his family, in
order to survive the attempted hit, you're forced to embrace your
ungodly gifts in defence of all that you hold dear. Pressing forward
with your piranha-like puppets in tow, you'll set out in pursuit of a
mysterious limping man, last viewed amid the chaotic restaurant
scenes of the opening stanza.
As you
snuggle back in to The Darkness' familiar pattern of quad-wielding
craziness, you'll notice that the frenetic nature of the gunplay has
been coal-filtered into a warming blend of flailing limbs and flying
bullets. As before, the left and right bumpers, (or '1' buttons –
depending on your console of choice) control your free-spirited
appendages, while the triggers dictate your bullet control. Weapon
selection is neatly tied together with the relevant d-pad press,
letting you choose from one of two, one-handed weapons, or both, plus
the option of a two-hander, a shotgun for example. While much of your
blood-lust could be satisfied using only your collection of
Saturday-night specials, headshots aside, the incentive to kill with
Jackie's demonic extremities lies with an increased return of essence
compared to a standard rifle or Uzi kill.

While
instantly gratifying, the teeth-gnashing glee of splitting a goon in
two, or constricting and dissecting your foes, is deadened by the
speed at which these fantastic executions become habit. When
unleashed upon the world, almost everything you'll see, you'll
probably have seen in the first half an hour of The Darkness II's
brief campaign. The only real incentive to press on with these
elaborate, and relatively time-consuming moves is to ensure your
essence clock keeps on ticking. The more practical choice is often to
adopt a rather more Samuel L. Jackson-like approach and, “kill
every motherfucker in the room” (using guns – such as an AK47).
Often, grabbing a shield and a shotgun will take care of business
quicker than using your awe-inspiring powers. Taking this approach
will leave behind corpses with still-beating hearts, available as an
all-you-can-eat thug buffet.
Your
presence in the mortal realm is dictated by a healthy diet of
dismemberment and heart-consumption, each instance of amateur
cardiology restoring a tiny portion of Jackie's health. However,
should you choose to spend most of your killing time using your
serpentine extensions, you'll quickly find that the oh-so-useful
hearts stop dropping, and surviving becomes more of a chore. While
the sound of enthusiastic heart munching never grows old, it's a
shame that the more immediately practical option is to embrace the
rudimentary shooting mechanics, just to keep moving forward. When you
remove the glitter of the four-pronged assault, The Darkness II
becomes a rote, linear, tunnel chugger.
It's
not as if The Darkness 2 is without its charm. The brilliant Darkling
companion makes a welcome return, adorned in his union flag
miniskirt, gleefully pissing on the recently disassembled ensemble
from the outset, and turning the air gremlin-fart green at any given
moment. He's responsible for some of the Darkness II's throwaway
sense of humour too. Finding him humming Great Britain's unofficial
back-up anthem 'Rule Britannia' to himself, is particularly amusing.
Hearing ladies of negotiable affection muttering “Hotdog down a
hallway? What does that even mean?” while visiting a dank brothel,
go over well too. The score is another strong point, orchestral and
dramatic backing peaks appropriately, even if sometimes it is
noticeably repetitive. During the hospital scenes, tentative piano
complements a warm, pulmonary baseline. Weaponry clicks and clacks
with authentic cartoon realism, and at its best, The Darkness II has
moments of climactic, post-Gotham fusion.

The
Darkness II is a product of good will but very little invention,
imitation rather than iteration seems to be the stock-in-trade. The
winding snake-arm set pieces of the first instalment have been
replaced with some first-person darkling plays. Much like the main
partition, these prove to be something of a one trick pony,
experienced in full within minutes of their birth. The moody subway
interactions with NPCs, while relevant first time around, take place
in Jackie's luxurious mansion this time out, but really could have
been omitted entirely. The result is damaged pacing and reduced
suspense. The Darkness II even features an attempt at replicating the
shock factor of part one, with one particular moment coming close.
Like much of its subject matter, this turns out to be little more
than a faint echo of what came before.

A game
with a five to six hour campaign (on an average difficulty
play-through) should have a narrative that leaves you wanting more at
its conclusion. While the latter stages are a break from the routine,
beneath their shiny coating, lies a very familiar skeleton. The
particularly anticlimactic end-game is a welcome relief when finished
with, rather than an achievement to be reflected upon. A
quasi-cliffhanger ending, alluding to the possibility that a fuller
campaign was always possible but never achieved, exacerbates the
emptiness, save for one last moment of sentiment, this one worthy of
its predecessor.
The
Darkness II unleashes its fifth limb in pursuit of some interesting
multiplayer content, also playable solo. Two game modes and four
fantastic, racially stereotypical wannabes (Eastern European,
Scottish, Chinese and Black) await. Each one equipped with a
different weapon set, plus a darkness speciality unique to their
character, imagine each talent-tree personified. Hitman mode will see
you skirmish with an easily dispatchable (that's not really a word -
never use it) gaggle of goons, in a tired attempt at what is now
known as 'horde mode', before re-enacting the relative tedium of the
boss jousts you might just have been fortunate enough to have
forgotten. Campaign allows you to ride the same railroad again, in
much the same way as in the central story, but through sterile
environment and with less killer skills.

The
Darkness II is a game of should-have-been. Your quad wielding should
make you feel like the semi-mortal man-demon you are, the effortless
ruining of your foes should feel gratifying every time.
Instead, every bland jaunt feels like an opportunity lost. Guilty of
excess padding around its midriff, The Darkness II is equipped with
all the gameplay tools you could ask for to make a genuinely
inventive and interesting shooter, instead it reloads the same-old
rusty side-arm and fires blindly into the light, bleeding missed
opportunities and asphyxiating its victims, in game or otherwise.
Mecha
Score 7.0
Sunday, 12 February 2012
The Binding of Isaac Review
'Alle-GORY!'
You
play as Isaac, an infant forced to flee the sanctity of, and cast
himself into the depths beneath, his once happy homestead, in an
attempt to flee his deranged mother and her particularly ill
intentions. As a happy mother and son, Mom and Isaac lived peacefully
together in a solitary house on a hill. Following some particularly
puritanical propaganda from the lord above. Isaac's mother takes a
turn for the mental and murderous, convinced that only the sacrifice
of her son can sate God's desire for proof of her devotion. In an
entirely practical move, Isaac heads to the dark and gloomy basement,
via a handy trap door, in a desperate last ditch bid for safety.
Little does he know, that this will be just the start of his
problems.
Testing
the mortality of Isaac's various mutants is made all the more
enjoyable with a bloody rainbow of power-ups effecting, health,
firepower, rate of fire, armour, and even character aesthetics. These
prove definitive in your quest for success and particularly in
rewarding your hard graft effectively. Certain randomly generated
drops will yield new kinds of projectiles. These might turn your
tears into blood or a chargeable mega bullet sicked up from your gut,
more effective the longer you hold down the arrow key. Finding
certain articles, for example a magnet, will modify the effect or
trajectory. The aforementioned magnet, usefully, will encourage your
arrows to home-in on your foes should you miss. The variety of
modifiers available could do with being accompanied by some on-screen
guidance. Most are clear, but the wealth available is hard to keep on
top of, particularly the one-use playing cards, often you might find
yourself using one at in inopportune moment, and only repeated use of
each will help keep their specific uses in mind.
Isaac
offers up well over one hundred collectible items, too. Even if you
are able to beat The Binding of Isaac in just a few plays through
(which is unlikely), the randomly generated nature of the rooms,
monsters, items and loot means that it's essential to complete
multiple runs, just to experience the game for what it is, never mind
grabbing all the goodies. In addition, The Binding of Isaac boasts
four unlockable characters, each with their own balance of speed,
stamina and attack power. Not all of these require completion of the
game, and provide some nice alternatives depending on your preferred
play style. If you needed more reasons to keep playing, Isaac offers
no less than ten different endings, apparently (I have not, repeat
not, seen most of them).
Some
of the bosses are subject to one of The Binding of Isaac's very few
flaws, though. Once you have got to grips with how they play, some of
them can be incredibly quick and simple to defeat. The bizarrely
named Larry Junior- a pair of segmented snake-like creatures, will
almost always navigate the room with no particular desire to attack,
leaving you free to quietly dispose of your reluctant assailants.
That said, the grim themes of each battle are enough to make every
one of them worthwhile.
The
Binding of Isaac is a work of subtextual intercourse. Chewing it's
way through society's underbelly, and the macabre, blood spattered
basement of one unlucky little boy. Set amid six subterranean levels,
packed with fleshy ghouls and deformed, morose monstrosities, The
Binding of Isaac is a triumph for indy gaming. Brought to you by one
half of Super Meat Boy's Team Meat, in association with flash game
enablers Newgrounds (Alien Hominid), The Binding of Isaac is one of
2011's definitive indy offerings.

You
control your eponymous protagonist twin stick style, W, A, S and D
moving your infantile hero accordingly, and your arrow keys showering
all before you with er... arrows, initially in the form of Isaac's
freshly shed tears. That's right, if you're looking for an uplifting
cheer-athon, look away now. The Binding of Isaac's layout is
straightforward enough. Upon your initial descent into the
innard-pink caverns below, you will be presented with an empty room,
this room like every other, will have from one to four exits, one on
each of the four walls. Each randomly generated room will offer a
selection of varying baddies plus some potential prizes up for grabs.
Within
each of the six basement levels, one room will contain a boss that
must be defeated before opening a trap door to continue downwards to
the incrementally more difficult levels below. The one luxury
afforded to you is the option to navigate these rooms as you see fit.
With boss rooms identified by a demonic doorway, you may choose to
get straight in there and smush up some satanic bags of flesh, or
take the time to explore each room first, risking your life in the
hope of gaining further perks and boosts. Staying on your toes is
paramount throughout, rooms will often be populated by five or six
monsters or more, charging, spitting and jumping all over each locked
area, the doors to each confined space will remain shut until you can
clear out all the freaks within.

Power-ups
can be purchased from vendors using coins found scattered around
(often retrieved from piles of poo – don't ask), you can also use
these to drop into a slot machine should you choose (the coins that
is, not poos), with extra bonuses a potential, but far from
guaranteed reward. This in itself, is a microcosm of the roguelike
brilliance of The Binding of Isaac. When you die, you are dead
and it's back to the start all over again. Learn by doing is the
order of the day, risk equals reward. Only through hours of
respawning will the idiosyncrasies of that one mob become
clear, and when to duck and when to weave. The inevitability of your
demise is key to the equation, and rarely does a death ever feel
unduly harsh. While relentlessly punishing, the hardcore learning
curve is as rewarding as it is addictive and infuriating. More often
than not, should you fail prematurely, Isaac leaves you with the
realisation that you were the one to blame, if only you hadn't gone
into that one room in pursuit of loot, it could all have been so
different. In all likelihood, your next run will be your best, as
slowly but surely, your bloodied moth, drawn again and again to the
flame, will gradually develop into a basement badass.

The
Binding of Isaac's art style is ostensibly that of Team Meat's Edmund
McMillan, deliberately simple designs, brutally snuffed out as
quickly as they are brought to life. The brief loading screens
between levels depict a set of childlike sketches of one of Isaac's
chilling memories of rejection, ridicule and neglect. These snuggle
up wonderfully with the mournful nature of Isaac's bleak basement
setting. Each fleshy-pink room seems to pulse with sorrow and
sadness, many of Isaac's afflicted antagonisers carry themselves with
a destitute and disconsolate disposition. From babies crying tears of
blood, to sorrowful husks cowering in corners while belching out
flies, The Binding of Isaac is punctuated heavily with morbidly
fascinating creatures. Not least of these are the fantastic bosses,
Monstro – a giant head of sorts, flinging himself into the air and
burping out blood (he's got a big brother too), The Duke of Flies –
a fly-infested, rotting ball, and in particular, Gemini – a
deranged, charging humanoid, dragging behind it a deformed baby,
still attached by it's umbilical chord.

At
times, The Binding of Isaac could be faulted for a slight imbalance
in the drops, as well. A dungeon might be generated with tons of
locked doors to rooms undoubtedly full of goodies to collect, but
very few, if any keys will drop from Isaac's enemies. The random
nature of the rooms can lead to some pretty sharp difficulty spikes,
too. Cruising along nicely one minute, calmly taking out floating
heads, might suddenly be replaced with a room full
of mental, jumping, headless bastards, hell-bent on chewing off your
face. While the general difficulty across a given level is fairly
steady, room to room can be a bit of a rotting rollercoaster.
If you
like your themes clean cut, then you could criticise that of The
Binding of Isaac heavily. Isaac is an unwanted toddler, his mother
wants him dead and her actions force him to retreat naked to his
basement, where he will fight, as mentioned, babies crying tears of
blood who will often continue to meander around having been
decapitated. Some of the pickups are particularly close to the mark,
a wire coat hanger that Isaac chooses to wear through
his head, in a rather overt reference to aborted pregnancy. It's
worth pondering whether or not such themes would be quite so passable
in a more mainstream game, then again, that's what age ratings are
for.
The
Binding of Isaac carries plenty of religious connotations, too.
Isaac's mother is a devout and misguided Christian, instructed by
God, according to the eerie intro sequence, to sacrifice her only
child, referencing the Bible story of the same name. Each of the
sporadically sourced sub-bosses are themed around one of the seven
deadly sins, it is as if to suggest Isaac must battle each to cleanse
himself of their relative impurities. The Binding of Isaac makes no
real attempt to clarify it's meaning or personal point of view. It
simply puts the content out in front of you and leaves it there for
you to infer whatever meaning you choose. However you view it,
Isaac's content is some of the most interesting produced in an indy
game, or in any game for that matter.
If
thematically, The Binding of Isaac is ugly, then it's score is
beautiful. A tense digital heartbeat, pumping blood through Isaac's
desolate veins, the haunting yet soothing 8 bit drums and wailing
synthesiser grow into predatory guitar riffs at will. In moments of
heightened tension so grows the music with it, in the latter stages,
the sinister ostinato becomes more noticeable and dramatic,
thunderous drums and a more orchestral tone replacing what came
before. Great music in games is often subtle enough to not be noticed
but powerful enough to effect drama, tension and atmosphere, The
Binding of Isaac achieves the ultimate happy medium.
The
Binding of Isaac is a brilliant slice of Indy gaming satire. It's
everything an indy game should be. Quirky, funny and controversial,
challenging yet easy to pick up and even easier to keep playing.
Fiendishly difficult at times but universally rewarding. It has
flaws, but not many. Any it does have can be forgiven thanks to what,
at Isaac's core, is a frenetic and addictive gameplay experience
requiring quick thinking and even quicker reactions. While,
technically, The Binding of Isaac might be completable in around just
an hour, you'd have to be crazier than a deluded Christian housewife
to spend any less than hours of your time unwrapping this gory indy
gift.
Mecha
Score 8.0
Battlefield 3 Review
'Battlefield, Battlefield, Battlefield'
Battlefield
3's single player campaign is far removed from that of it's close
cousin, Bad Company 2. Upon release, BFBC2 was lauded for it's not
too serious, camaraderie oriented, vernacular. Likeable characters
would exchange 'Tet a tet' to lighten the gloom, the emphasis laid
square on the shoulders of 'team' and the collective, rather than
that of the the lone wolf. BF3 makes no such commitment to character
or story.
Even
when the friendly AI does what it is supposed to do, sometimes it
isn't all that helpful. At one point, bogged down, defending a
supporting character fighting for his life, you must fend off waves
of advancing enemies with the able assistance of a fellow Marine.
Assistance that is, or lack thereof. While the critically wounded
character exchanges H2o for Co2 for possibly the last time, and you
send bullets with intent over multiple levels and in many directions,
support is not forthcoming. While you hard-headedly defend your
station, under particular duress, your partner stands firm, rifle
ready but ultimately unused. He has a big old rifle all right, but
he's absolutely not using it, for anyone. Not only would some
assistance in situations such as these be helpful, but it feels a
little rude to not fire a single bullet, or even attempt to
administer some basic CPR. 'Oh you didn't bring
a bottle? No, no that's fine. Come on in and help yourself to the
buffet.” What a Dick.
It's
no surprise that BF3 has a healthy variety of modes to play. Death
Match and Team Death Match aside, Squad Death Match provides a place
for the truly team oriented. In this mode you can compete in a
four-a-side, sixteen man bloodbath where the pack animal is king.
Possibly the two most well worn modes in this year's instalment are
'Conquest' and 'Rush'. The former an outstanding capture the flag
format. Spread over three or four bases, each successfully defended,
neutralised or captured flag will yield experience with an ultimate
goal of capturing all available flags and triggering a bleed effect
on the enemies reinforcements. If you have less than half the flags,
then even if no one's getting shot, your backup resources will
gradually deplete, faster still for every base that escapes you. Rush
is a last line of defence back and forth. You must capture and
destroy two separate enemy M-COM stations, doing so will allow you to
advance to the next set and so on until they're all neutralised, or
your forces have been squashed.
Beyond
levelling, BF3 rewards your commitment to you closest friend out in
the field, your gun. The longer you play on with your weapon of
choice, the more unlocks will become available. This can lead to you
being vastly outmatched against more experienced players initially,
but over time the playing field levels out nicely. As you invest time
with your boomstick, new sights, scopes, grips and gadgets will
become available. This acts as a nice stop gap between the times your
character's actual level increases. If you choose to take advantage
of the vehicles at your disposal, their frequent use is rewarded as
well. A tank for example, can be modified to include, gun turrets,
smoke grenades or zoomed in reticules among others.
Battlefield
3 is serious fun. DICE have contrived to create the most unforgiving
and challenging, yet engaging and enabling, on line first person
shooter experience on consoles to date. If you want to do it the hard
way, and reap the rewards thereafter, then “It's on you Marines”.
Battlefield
3 is a game of two parts, one forgettable, the other a work of
exquisite design.

You'll
play as Sergeant Henry Blackburn, a decorated U.S. Marine. Returning
from recent overseas operations, he has become aware of an impending
terrorist threat to New York City.
The
blot on BF3's copy book is the limp single player campaign, easily
completable in a not so terrible eight hours. This would be
dramatically reduced if cut scene usage were minimised. In an ironic
twist, the cut scenes themselves, at least from a technical
standpoint, could be considered the most impressive pocket of BF3's
campaign coating. The voice acting therein, and the facial animations
in particular are perfectly done. Amid the dank and drawn office
backdrop, Blackburn, who dominates most of the campaign play through,
is temporarily retired from duty as he answers some taxing questions
following his squad's recent operations in the middle east.
The
opening frame, in which you hurl yourself through a subway train
carriage window and drop kick your balaclava clad foes to the floor,
before equipping and making your way forward, begins proceedings. The
train, plagued with post mortals, slumped in their seats, permeated
with bullet holes, is an eerie but enjoyable start.
It is
a real shame that the BF3 campaign has so few moments of such
excitement. There are shocking moments however. While BF3's single
player is much like an overly milky cup of tea, at points the
caffeine kicks right in. The ultimate fate of one or two soldiers in
the story is adequately reminiscent of the true nature of war. The
key failing of the narrative is that it doesn't deliver any
connection beyond simply fighting a war, for the sake of winning a
war. When these impactful happenings occur, there is never any reason
to care. Battlefield 3 does little at all to make it's central
characters either memorable or likeable, and when your squadies are
consumed by the fog of war, it feels like no more than the
unavoidable statistical inevitability that is war in the modern age.
DICE
shouldn't be faulted for their humble attempts at creating a varied
campaign. Use of no less than four separate protagonists on foot, in
tanks and by air, across the middle east, Paris and New York all
sound good around the brainstorming table. On paper, it also sounds
good to include quick time events and levels with varying content to
break up the rote nature of extended first person play. It is in the
execution of these fine ideas that BF3's biggest failings are
exposed. Paris and New York are visited, but for one notably brief
foray each. The time lapse directive throughout the story adds no
drama or suspense. The quick time events are overly straight forward,
sparsely used and uninteresting.
Some
of the variety DICE attempts, for example, a stealth mission under
the cover of night, through down town Tehran, feels like a watered
down silhouette of some of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare's stand-out
moments. 'Night Shift' in particular radiates emotionless, tick box
grinding. Told to take cover before being hit by the swelling glare
of enemy vehicular head lights, seems to be a suggestion, rather than
an imperative. Further on, you will be instructed to sneak up and
complete a stealthy knife kill on a stationary insurgent, a trying
test of patience and a shattering slice of broken gameplay. As you
reach a certain point, a few feet behind him, whether or not you are
spotted, you will trigger automatic insta-death. Keeling over and
submissively adopting the foetal position without being shot is one
thing, doing it without even being looked at is another, but doing it
four or five times (especially with BF3's not particularly swift
loading times) before you get it right, serves only to sabotage any
feelings of suspense you may have had. Dwelling in Battlefield 3's
attempts at variety, you will catch yourself wistfully recalling the
halcyon days of Modern Warfare's outstanding, suspenseful Chernobyl
missions. Moments that, unlike in Battlefield 3, will live with you
forever, at least for the right reasons.
Beyond
the bright but poorly executed ideas, lie some flaws worthy of rather
more vehement criticism. Battlefield 3 has a malnourished narrative,
it's sobering weaponry and gratifying gun play serve to fatten up
single player, but the lack of technical coherence, and in truth
shoddy workmanship, do more than enough to render these qualities
mute. You might well gaze upon the plethora of BF3's single player
bugs and glitches, with wide eyed, slack jawed abandon as other
worldly failings punctuate the campaign. Moments like when your squad
should kick down a door and
move forward to cover, before taking on the encroaching enemy forces.
Instead, running straight through the unopened door, they leave you
behind. A few seconds pass, before of it's own volition, the door
pops open, complete with the sound of it being kicked by a size 16
military boot. Already acquainted with the outdoors, the friendly AI,
confused as to where they should be, rush headlong in to the sights
of the enemy before changing tact from outright suicide and adopt a
rather more reserved approach, returning to their cosy doorway where
they re enact their manoeuvre as originally intended. That kind of
military set play is quite likely to leave you flailing on the floor,
covered in your own blood, picking bullets out of your face. Either
in game, or at home if you have quick access to a loaded gun. These
bugs should prove laughable, but in a game built upon the foundation
of EA studios' financial sinew, more often they deliver a frustrating
single player experience. Every time you are engaged, there is a
reason to disengage, every maniacal smile you dare to let creep
across your features, will be antidoted with a confused frown, as
story is reduced to incoherent babble.

The
climax of Battlefield 3 is entirely deflating. DICE would do well to
take note of the fact that the difference between a 'cliffhanger'
ending and a bad one is extremely fine indeed. Several hours of solid
gun running is not enough to make the vague warble of the ultimate
scenes even remotely plausible. A confused and slightly pretentious
final stanza awaits, you have been warned.
The
laundry list of technical misgivings and BF3's flawed fable aside, it
bares mention that at the core of the solo playthrough, lies some
genuinely well balanced and intuitive gun gaming. A run through on
'Normal' difficulty will prove challenging enough, and while the
icing has gone bad ,the cake in the middle is still pretty tasty.
There are two very important elements to BF3's core chronicle that
make it more or less enjoyable, gripping weapon mechanics and simply
stunning audio. While they are the two parts of single player,
they are just two of the fantastic ingredients that make up
the exceptional on line experience. Battlefield as a series has never
been synonymous with plot, it has however, always been a champion of
online combat to compete with, and often outdo, the very best.
Battlefield
3 has nailed it. Delivering not only an enjoyable on line partition,
but one more than worthy of the series' thoroughbred lineage. Up to
24 players on consoles, and more on PC (depending on your choice of
mode) are deployed across nine maps at launch. These vary, from the
arid 'Operation Firestorm' to the urban 'Seine Crossing' and
'Operation Metro' or the rather more leafy 'Kharg Island' and
'Caspian Border'. There is great variety in scale as well, 'Tehran
Highway' for example, is shackled by tight, claustrophobic corridors,
the sprawling expanses of Caspian Border or Operation Firestorm, are
a welcome contrast. As you might expect with Battlefield 3, how you
choose to navigate your terrain effects your gameplay experience
greatly. Vehicular combat is a hook that Battlefield has carried with
it for a generation, and never has it been more effective and
important than in Battlefield 3. There is no hand holding if you are
taking your first, tentative steps. The first face you see might be
that of an opponent with the best gear, the highest level and
god-like familiarity with the map you frequent. Battlefield 3's
vehicles act as a fantastic equaliser for the uninitiated. So long as
you can press 'forward', 'back', 'left', 'right' and 'shoot', you
have every chance of effecting the flow of battle. As well as serving
as a gamebreaker, the vehicles contribute aesthetically too. Don't be
surprised, when as you spawn, the sky is painted red with dogfighting
jets or helicopters transporting troops and raining vengeance down
from above. Nothing gets a sniper out of his comfort zone quite like
shrapnel from a nearby mortar. Destructible buildings crumble and
crack as the force of each bullet or shell leaves lasting impact on
the environment. While buildings can't be entirely destroyed, each
multiplayer canvas will inevitably be painted a darker shade as each
skirmish progresses.

It
is rare to find two runs that feel the same. Conquest and Rush alone,
spread across the nine available maps, provide hour after hour of
excitement and the exquisite level design never feels restrictive or
too open and roomy. This can change in the rare instances that you
find yourself waiting for a vehicle to respawn, while the passing
seconds can feel like a lifetime in the heat of battle, it is
unlikely to spoil your fun. If passing time is your thing,
extensively customisable appearance and loadouts, depending on your
level, are a nice way to pass the time. You also have the option of
playing as one of four classes, 'Assault', 'Support', 'Engineer' and
'Recon'. The first two will generally carry assault rifles, MP5s, Ak
47s and the like with engineers specialising in heavy weapons,
explosives and repair. Recon carry sniper rifles and a generally more
cautious disposition. Each class has his own array of unlockable
gadgets that can turn the tide in your favour. Mobile spawn points,
ammo, medic kits and rocket launchers among the tricky treats
available.
Battlefield
3 online gives you reason after reason to return. You might be shot
down with frustrating frequency over a forty minute blitz, but BF3
rewards the overall impact you have on the game, more than it rewards
kills to deaths, as is often common elsewhere. As is commonplace in
the on line FPS market, each kill of any kind, with each individual
weapon and each base defended or captured will bring reward, as
ribbons are dished out like candy at a piñata party. Repeat these
feats enough and you will receive medals and dog tags to commemorate
your achievement. As in previous instalments, dog tags can be
procured from any unwitting foes who let you get behind them. This
adds some nice tension at times and helps to encourage those of a pro
camping disposition to kick up some dirt. Experience is given out in
spades, but you never feel like you are being fast tracked through
the early levels. BF3 is a grind. Xp is there to be had when you
capture or defend a base, kill someone, assist a kill, blow up a
vehicle or follow an attack order to name a few. If you keep busy,
that bar will raise fast enough, but it's unlikely that you'll feel
that you ever had it easy.

Battlefield
3 is a fairly good looking game over all. If you have a nice, shiny,
high end PC, then that should represent your platform of choice.
While it's not the only game that looks better on PC than on
it's console counterparts, unlike most games released this year,
there is a distinct and noticeable visual up step from console to PC.
On console, when the dust of multi disk installation has settled, BF3
looks okay. More than the pure graphical fidelity, it is the scale
and nature of the happenings in your periphery that make up BF3's
visual biography.
Battlefield
3 carries two particular qualities across all platforms and game
modes. DICE has a long standing tradition of ground breaking audio
design and BF3 happily continues this trend. If there was an award
for 'Best Aural Ear Candy 2011', I would not hesitate, for even a
second. It is absolutely spectacular, bullets whisper sweet nothings
in your ear as they whistle by. The far off crackle and pop of gun
fire and explosions is quite removed from the violent, in your face,
vulgarity of a proximal detonation. The muted score when sat behind
the wheel of a tank is abruptly burst, noticeably so, upon your exit
or even worse, it's explosion. A rocket launched nearby will sound
quite different when fired in an open desert environment as opposed
to the confined space of a subway tunnel. If you like listening to
things, you owe it to yourself to experience this jaw dropping audio
first hand.
BF3's
gun play is intensely rewarding and equally gratifying. The variety
of weaponry at your fingertips is part of the appeal. The feeling
that every rifle, shotgun or explosive you carry is distinct from
it's closest cousin, defines BF3's quality. Bipods and grips will
steady your aim, every weapon has different sights best suited for
varying ranges of combat. Recoil feels realistic and taking shots
from the prone, crouched or standing position feels tangibly
different. BF3 feels fair at every turn too, at no point are
unrealistic weapon mechanics responsible for withdrawing you from the
utter immersion that BF3 online provides.
Battlefield
3 has to compete with Call of Duty, it's no secret. Modern Warfare 3
is a shoo in to be Christmas number one this year, odds on with any
bookmaker, not run from a cellar somewhere. As such, more than ever
before, Battlefield 3 is coated from head to toe in glitter. Shiny
distractions from it's spectacular core. In truth, Battlefield 3's
story mode is poor, it's inclusion was never warranted. Perhaps,
after the relatively warm reception BFBC2's narrative and characters
received, it felt like a logical step to break ground and include the
mode in a 'Battlefield' game for the first time. It was a misguided
decision, whether in it's conception or in it's execution, it feels
like nothing more than a kiddies run of what MW3's campaign promises
to produce. When the glitter is stripped away however, and
Battlefield 3 goes back to what it has always done best, the
shrinking violet at the heart of BF3 finds it's voice. And what a
voice it is.
BF3
is a ballet of beautifully orchestrated violence and earth shaking
audio. While it's single player portion is flawed to the core, so
it's multiplayer component is a pulsating drum beat of well crafted
weaponry, enthralling action, constant gratification, and spectacular
variety and replayability. Steer as clear of the campaign as you can
but you owe it to yourself and your friends to get on line together
and experience, what so far at least, is the best on line FPS
endeavour of this year. When Battlefield does what it was born to do,
nobody does it better.
Mecha
Score 8.5
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